A Survivor's Memoirs
by Janus Abernathy
Summary: Memoirs of a woman who sold her soul to the devil and survived to tell the story. Pairings will vary.
1. Head of Security

_**A/N: **__I was bored and I needed to keep my muse alive for Resident Evil RP - I decided to give fanfiction a shot. This is my first Resident Evil fanfiction I've written... so, be gentle. Also, after you read this - please read the note at the end. Thanks._

_Hope you enjoy. This will be a bunch of one-shot, obviously. _

_**The Head of Security**_

October 31st, 1998

_It would appear I did pretty damn good in gaining the Head of Security title in no time flat. When I first signed up with them, I was like the rest of the grunts... just a rookie. No ordinary rookie though. Worked my ass off through the ranks to get to where I am... worth all the effort and struggle, that's for certain. _

_I hail from Moscow, Russia - born and raised there. Grew up with my parents, both of them, alive and well along with my sister. We lived there till me and my sister turned eighteen, that was when I signed up with Umbrella Corporation... and lost my sister. _

_She never liked Umbrella for some reason, said she didn't trust them. Last thing I heard from her was that I was blinded like the rest of them. We never spoke again after she disappeared. Think she joined up with the marines or something like that, according to Mom. I miss her terribly, I really do. It feels like I've lost my life-long bestfriend in the worst way. When I think of her, my chest would hurt like hell and I'd feel like crying. But I don't let the tears fall. Is that a bad thing? Eh, who knows._

_Well, I should get going now. Commander One looks pretty pissed, probably because my break was supposed to be over about twenty minutes ago. Note to self: don't write at work again. The mind can be a dangerous thing sometimes. _

_-Alice._

"Abernathy, a moment? I need to speak with you." The deep masculine voice of James Shade, also known as Commander One by most around here, echoed across the room to her. He was an experienced soldier or perhaps even a mercenary, no one really knows because he doesn't talk much. Mostly keeps to himself often. Work and his team was his priority 24/7. It was pretty much the same with Alice.

_'Guess I'm in trouble.' _Alice regretfully thought with a sigh, following the taller man away from the rookies that were training. She had been put in charge of training the newbies because her team didn't have enough of people. It was still early anyway, Alice recently got promoted to Head of Security along with her 'husband', Spence Parks and she was still building her team. That kind of thing usually took time. Umbrella Security was no joke, especially with Alice around. She kept a strict discipline over her team and paid them just as much respect as they did for her. Confidence in yourself and your team was the most important thing if they were going to work together and they would have successful outcomes without losing a life.

James stopped for a moment, seeming to watch the other rookies for a moment as he tried to form the words in his head. His temporary silence did worry her before he finally looked back to her and spoke up. His voice didn't sound stern as if he was scolding, so that was a plus.

"I think we might have found two more for your team," James begun to explain and he almost smirked at how relieved Alice looked. But he remained serious, adding more to his enigmatic personality, "They should be arriving in about two hours. You'll need to give them a tour though. Coleman called in sick."

_'Again? What the hell has he been eating.' _One of the Ensigns working for her was famously known for his ridiculous attendance record but the man was damn lucky his skills were far too superior to be laid off. They needed him just as much he needed them.

"Here's the file on them, look over it when you can and you can dismiss the grunts early. Wouldn't be good if you overdid it tonight." Alice let out a sigh at the last words. Despite the fact this man was her superior, he still worried about her. He knew a little about her past and Alice just brushed it off. "I'm fine, sir. Thanks for the information though," She held up the manila folder to emphasize with a soft smile.

"Alright. You're dismissed then. If these two give you any trouble... let me know, I'll straighten them out." James clicked his tongue with a wink before smiling at her faintly then turning his back to her and walked off.

Okay, that worried her a little. It almost sounded like he was warning her that the two new rookies were troublemakers or something like that. May God help her now.

* * *

_I'm your dream, make you real  
I'm your eyes when you must steal  
I'm your pain when you can't feel  
Sad but true_

The bass and lyrics rang out through the training room. It was blaring and no one was there to complain. It was just her, thankfully. Everyone else either went home or stayed in the security wing for the night. Some of them had night shifts for guard duty. Alice had to give them props for having the guts to sleep underground.

And it was only nine o'clock. The two new grunts should be arriving very shortly. If they had arrived at the Parks mansion earlier than that, then they most likely got held up waiting. There had been a minor issue with the train's power and they had to spend an hour or so repairing it. Thankfully it wasn't serious. She'd hate to spend nights in this place, buried far deep underground under where Raccoon City stood but they were directly under the mansion where Alice and Spence lived.

_I'm your dream, mind astray  
I'm your eyes while you're away  
I'm your pain while you repay  
You know it's sad but true_

She was on the bag, throwing high kicks and punches at it as the sounds of her fists connecting with the bag were drowned out by the rock music. Focused mint hues never strayed from the same dot on the bag that she would stare at and then her mind would drift away to her own world where she could go over the thoughts she couldn't while working.

And that came to an abrupt stop when the music suddenly cut off and Alice's assault upon the bag ceased to a halt before she looked back over her shoulder to find Commander One up-nodding to her after having turned off the stereo. He wasn't alone either.

A young woman and man were with him and Alice immediately recognized the faces from the folder she went over earlier. Their records might not be able to tell Alice much about who they were and how well they could handle themselves. Like her superior, she believed that seeing them in action and interacting with them was the best way to find out. Obviously. Can't always judge a book by it's cover. Sparing a sheepish grin to the Commander in a subtle apology, Alice picked up her towel off the bench nearby and dabbed the sweat off her face with it as she approached the three. Right off the bat, her eyes were found by the younger woman's dark gaze and she couldn't help but feel strange for a minute. Not that it was bad, actually. Just unexpected. Aside from the cold and careless look that reminded her of Coleman, they gave Alice the feeling that there was more than what the eye sees.

"Ocampo and Salinas?" Had to make sure and both of the grunts nodded in answer. J.D. Salinas, he appeared just as serious as Ocampo and showed determination in his posture. This was only the beginning though, she had yet to see the other sides of the two so who knows if they'd be a hassle or not. Either way, Alice would probably straighten them out as she had done her fair share of newbies. "Glad to have you both joining us. You both must be exhausted, I'll show you where you'll be staying for the night and we can begin the tour tomorrow."

Even as Alice spoke, she could _feel _a gaze on her and when she looked at Ocampo, the shorter woman appeared to become uninterested and looked over at her comrade, rolling her eyes when Salinas shot her a sly smirk.

Alice didn't let her own smirk play across her lips till after she turned her back and guided them out of the training room and headed for the bunkers. She already could tell this year was going to be interesting with these two.

_-Fin-_

_**A/N: **__Yeah, I know the 'wtf' is directed to Alice's sister. They never gave us much on her past and her background, which is pretty neat because it gives us the chance to come up with a past Alice could have in the way we see it in our fanfictions, right? Makes it all more interesting. _


	2. Reality

_**A/N: **__Got bored again and my mind suddenly got a creative streak today, been at it all day. Hope you enjoy. _

* * *

_**A taste of her reality. **_

* * *

January 21st, 1999

_This has to be the worst day in my entire life. Aside from Spence being a little dipshit with the strange attitude change, like he had gone completely heartless or something... I had the most disturbing encounter with Dr. Isaacs. That man rubs me the wrong way every time. Even if I'm just looking at him. He would have that creepy smile every time he was around me and God, did it ever make my skin crawl._

_Also, to add to this messed up day- those two Ensigns, Rain Ocampo and JD Salinas? They proved determination, but they're still young... so that troublemaking streak in them continues to live. I don't even remember when I lost mine. Maybe around the time I signed up with Umbrella? Or after my first mission. _

_As much I wish with every fiber in my entire being to forget that day, I never will._

* * *

_Gunfire and screams rang out as billows of smoke moved towards the darkened sky before vanishing. _

Her timing couldn't have been any better when she made the decision to straighten her Ensigns out. Breaking news: one of their scientists had lost their mind all of sudden and had a psychotic outbreak, threatening to kill everyone in the laboratories. He had locked down the hospital as well. Two explanations for why that happened would be- a; He was fed up with his job and wanted something more or b; something he was experimenting on must've made him lose it.

Alice knew something that all of her Ensigns didn't. Between herself and Commander One, Spence was the only other that knew about it too... was that Umbrella Corporation had been secretly working on a new serum. Which was located exactly where the crazed scientist was. The rest of the Ensigns was told that they were to take the scientist down. What they were purposefully neglected to be told was that Alice had a job to do. To collect the serum.

_"They're all fucking insane!" Her team mate cried out in horror. Alice would never forget how pale he looked and how his eyes were widened, like Death was staring right back in his face with that dark and twisted grin. She couldn't agree anymore than she already did as she pulled the trigger, dropping a man wearing a white labcoat that represented what he was- an intelligent scientist, probably graduated from High School as a valedictorian and had a perfect family. _

_And how does life repay him? By having him running at her with a crazed look in his eyes, an axe in his hand and screaming, "Get out!" Just before she left a hole in between his eyes and stared at the body laying in a pooling puddle of his blood. The only question that was racing across her mind by then, "Why was he telling me to get out?"_

"Alright, listen up!" James shouted out in a clear and firm tone for everyone to hear, his darkened brown hues appearing serious but Alice could tell there was a hint of concern in them. She couldn't blame him, really. The Commander was there with her on that tragic day after all.

"As you all have been updated, there are about ten hostages inside with the target. Our job is to get in there and get them out of there, alive. Now, it is not known if he has killed anyone yet... but let's try not to have more than one body on our hands. Abernathy, you're up." He up-nodded to Alice before she moved up to stand next to him.

_"He shot at my head with a fucking flare gun! What the hell is wrong with you-" Those were the last words she heard from her team mate before the radio was cut off abruptly. Fear was slowly taking control and it would have rendered her paralyzed if she hadn't reminded herself why she was here and that she was still breathing._

"Anders and Coleman, you're on the doors." Actually, Anders was the computer geek- could hack in anything and Coleman was the killer meat shield. They made a quite lovely pair. "Salinas, we'll need a sniper out here in case this guy tries to run." As Alice issued the order to him, she looked behind her to see where he could camp out and nodded towards the four story apartment building, easily spotting the fire escape on the side, "Up there." She then turned back to her team and her eyes found Rain's dark gaze, "You're with me and Shade, we're taking the back door. We all set?" Almost in sync, they all affirmed and Alice nodded in satisfaction, "Let's do this then."

Taking that as a sign that the operation has been commenced, Salinas made his way across the street and up the fire escape to take his rightful place on the rooftop at the edge. Alice had witnessed his admirable sniping skills and gained a great deal of faith in him when it came to sniping assignments.

The rest followed suit as they made their way to their assigned positions.

_The loss of their team mate and the sudden tragedy left her speechless and numb. She wanted to scream and ask why something like this would happen and how, but all she got in answer was- "You wanted to know what you signed up for? This is it." As cruel the fact might seem, she realized that this was reality. Umbrella Corporation had the power to do as they wish and she was just one of the pawns to clean up their mistakes._

Alice's team waited by the back door as Anders and Coleman worked their way inside the front. Like every other place that Umbrella Corporation owned, they had advanced locks that needed the skills of an expert hacker with years of experience to break through it. The doors inside were also controlled manually by computer. That was Anders's cue to get them inside. It took five minutes at the most before Commander One received a radio transmission from Coleman, affirming that doors were unlocked and Alice opened the door before making a hand gesture at Ocampo for her to go in first. Rain moved with agile as she secured her sides and every corner as she moved inside before giving Alice and their Commander the signal that it was clear.

Alice and Shade moved in with caution, checking their sides as well then moving forward after Ocampo to the main lobby of the building. Why did it have to be a hospital? Granted, it was a fool-proof front but still. It just felt wrong. "Alpha One has reached the first floor lobby. Any visual on the target and the hostages?"

There was silence for a brief moment and Alice figured that they were scanning the cameras. The power was still on when they had entered so it was the best bet everything else was functioning with no errors or disruptions.

_"I see the target in lab 2B, second floor, but uh..." _Alice didn't like it at all, the concern and hesitation she heard in his voice. _"I don't see the hostages anywhere. He's alone. I'm looking at other cameras, still no hostages. Something's weird here, I'm telling you. This guy's been pacing back and forth the room, seems to be muttering something to himself. Might wanna get in there as soon as possible before he goes for the hostages." _

Well, shit.

Alice looked over at Shade with concern and he shared the same look as she sighed. "Ocampo and Shade, find the hostages. I got this guy." Just then, James stared at her intently as if he was asking her if she's sure about this. Alice simply shouldered her weapon and stared back defiantly, "I got this. Now go, we don't have much time." Without another word, she headed straight for the stairs to reach the second floor.

_"Got you on visual, Abs. By the way... DAT ASS." _Even though Alice rolled her eyes at Anders's comment, she couldn't help the small smirk touching her lips. It was nice to have a comic relief of some sort, helps ease her nerves. "Anders, be serious." She half joked as she reached the second landing after climbing two sets of stairs. "Door unlocked?"

_"All doors unlocked and alarms are off. You're good to go, boss." _

Taking the cue to move in, she opened the door as she held the carbine rifle in other arm and stepped through the door with her guard up. The hall was clear up till she reached the second floor lobby and her heart sank. She could feel her stomach churn as she stared at the body laying in it's puddle of blood around her head next to the front desk. The woman looked young, in her mid-twenties... and that just made her feel worse. And angry. Her blonde hair was stained with blood that was dripping down her face from the gunshot wound in her head. At least that told them something, the target was armed with a firearm.

"Got a body here, one of the hostages from the looks of it." She muttered over the radio to the others and took in a deep inhale, managing to tear her gaze away from the dead woman and moved on down the hall towards lab 2B. Her face would most likely be buried in the back of her head, along with the rest of the ghosts from her past.

A distant shout, which Alice assumed that had came from lab 2B, was heard and alerted her further more. She moved swiftly, the red dot of her rifle swaying from one door to the next as she moved with long strides before she reached the door of the laboratory. She kept the rifle drawn on the door and let out a shaky exhale as she listened to the sounds from the room on the other side of the door she was standing by. "Which side of the room is he on?"

_"Left of the door from where you're facing. He has his back to the door right now."_

"Alright. I'm good to go... open it." Her grip tightened on the handles when the door opened, sliding to the right after thirty seconds or so.

_'Here goes.'_

Alice urged herself to take a step in starting with her right foot and the barrel of her rifle being aimed around the corner to the left and there he was. His shoulders seemed to be slumped over and his head hung down. She could hear him muttering curses and something about it all being a mistake. "Drop the gun." The man suddenly spun and drew his gun on her and Alice held her breath, glaring at him. He seemed to be frightened but angry at the same time as he shouted at her that he'll shoot if she didn't stay away. "Sir, I don't really want to have to shoot you. Drop the gun now!" Alice shouted again in a firmer tone.

_"You... you work for them too!" _He spat out along with a scoffing laugh and shook his head frantically. He definitely has lost it. Their main priority was to take him in alive for questioning, but Alice figured that it was bullshit. There had to be something more to this situation. The whole thing reeked. The best she could do was to shoot his leg to subdue him. Though, before she could give off a warning shot, her earpiece came alive with Rain's voice. _"We found some hostages, two alive... and two dead. A woman and her son, they're scared out of their fucking mind. I don't see any others, some might have ran out when the doors were unlocked." _She could hear a note of uncertainty when the husky voice exhaled her words out- _"Shit, this woman's saying the guy's not alone!" _

Now Alice was at her toes and kept her rifle drawn on the man. "I'm giving you one last warning, put the fucking gun down!" The man simply looked back up at her and she froze at the sight she found in his eyes, a sad look.. almost like a cry for help.

_"You're blinded like the rest of them..." _That had hit home, hard. Her sister told her the same thing before she disappeared.

And before Alice could react or even get a shot in, the man brought the gun up to his own head and pulled the trigger. Alice's pounding heartbeats echoed in her ears and she could've sworn she heard a second gunshot as the target fell down to the floor dead. She was in shock, so bad she didn't move for a long moment before her brain processed everything. That was the first time she had watched someone commit suicide and it made her sick to her stomach.

_"Abernathy? Anders isn't answering! I'm on my way back to the security room- OH FUCK!" _A series of gunfire was heard over the earpiece, tearing Alice out of her shock and panic set in. "Coleman! What happened?!"

_"A-anders is dead! The son of bitch I just killed got him!" _

Alice stood there over the dead body as she stared off in the space in front of her in disbelief up till she heard James's voice ordering her to secure the lab. What the team didn't know was that was a secret code between her and Shade. She had to find the serum. "Coleman..." She started before swallowing hard, "Go help them find the rest of the hostages." And a sound was heard on the other end that made Alice want to tear her earpiece out, a sob.

Letting out a sharp but shaky exhale, Alice stepped over the dead scientist and searched the room thoroughly till her eyes landed on an open stainless steel box laying on top of a counter. She moved over to the counter slowly, her mint hues shining with hatred at the blue liquid contained in medium-sized steel tubes. Was this what the man was talking about? The mistake?

_"Abernathy? Is the lab secured?" _James's voice came again and she wanted to say no. She really wanted to, but she knew better. They could throw her in jail with the charge for withholding the evidence. "Yes. Be out in five." Surprisingly, her voice didn't crack one bit that time. She reached out to turn the knob on the top of the box to close it and let out a heavy sigh. The box was carefully placed in a large black bag next to it and she slung it over her shoulder, her gaze lingering one last time at the dead body on the floor before she was gone.

A team would be sent in to retrieve the bodies and clean up shortly, since Alice's team already did what they needed to. They weren't a part of the messy job, thankfully. She didn't think she would be able to stand it anymore if she saw Anders's lifeless face right now and Coleman grieving over his body right now...

Alice practically tossed the bag with the serum away from her once she was in the helicopter. She _hated _it. She wanted to toss it in a fire and forget all about it, but she couldn't. It was her job to retrieve it and bring it back to _them_. Wonder how those assholes could sleep at night. The entire ride back home, she could feel Rain's gaze on her but never did Alice return it with her own. She couldn't look at anyone in the eye without breaking apart. She had to stand her ground and set an example for the team. Otherwise, she'd be nothing but one big sobbing mess.

* * *

_Anders's body was brought back to base and the family had been notified of the unfortunate loss, then the team had their own personal wake to give Anders their final respects and say goodbye. He was a computer geek with a heart of gold, always knew how to make everyone laugh when they were down._

Alice was alone again. Everyone else took their shower and headed to their bunkers, but the Head of Security couldn't sleep. The look on that scientist's face, it wouldn't leave her alone... especially the sad look in his eyes. She noticed a wedding bang on his finger back there. The thought of breaking the news to his wife was just as heart-wrecking. "Sorry, ma'am to be the bearer of bad news... but your husband turned homicidal then killed himself." _Christ._

_"Abernathy?" _It was Shade. Honestly, he was the only person she'd be willing to talk with at the moment. She couldn't even look at Salinas, Ocampo or even Coleman.

Alice's nostrils flared as she held in a sharp exhale due to the slight pain in her hand as she slowly unwrapped the gauze off her bloody knuckles. She had went at it too hard on the bag but she couldn't help it. It was either that or break something else. Certain enough she wouldn't shatter under her Commander's concerned gaze, she turned to face the man and stared back in his eyes, quietly asking 'why'.

_"There was nothing you could do. It happened all so quickly." _He tried to comfort her but it only pissed her off. Her jaw clenched as she grit her teeth and shook her head before looking down at her hand. "So, what happens to it?" She turned her defiant mint hues up to meet his gaze once more before glancing around them to make sure they were alone before adding in a soft voice but enough for Shade to hear, "The serum, that is."

James remained silent for a long moment and Alice did not like that.

_"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. You and your team are to guard this place 24/7. You will get paid extra, two times what you used to get." _No. This was so not happening.

Her eyes had widened in disbelief before they narrowed at the taller man, slowly shaking her head. Before James could open his mouth, Alice spoke up in a sharp tone with a hint of venom, "I know. This is what we signed up for. No offense, sir.. but save the bullshit." With that, Alice turned on her heel and stormed off back to her office.

Why now? And why her? Out all of the people and out of all the times.

The door of her office was slammed shut after she entered. Alice couldn't even sit still, all she could do was pace back and forth in her office before her fist found the wall hard. A hole was left and she grit her teeth to swallow a cry of pain, regretting the blow as she thought she felt a tiny pop in her hand. But she didn't care anymore. She just turned and slumped back against the wall, slowly sliding down to the floor and her shoulders hunched over as her head hung down.

The only thought that was racing in her mind this time was...

_'What the hell did I get myself into?' _

* * *

_**-Fin-**_


End file.
